ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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