are you still at the devil's house?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize