I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
