You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
There's even glitter on my cock...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
