I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
