My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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