Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
