just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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