What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
