Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
