well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize