SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize