Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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