How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
