super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
