I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.