I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
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He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
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I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?