The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
wow bdsm is so cute
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
