I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
