So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
