Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the day after is always just damage control
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
MIDGETS
????
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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