This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
