I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
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I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
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I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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