So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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