i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
