She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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