very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
