Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
