I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
