i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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