The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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