He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize