Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
