Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
