Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
