My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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