The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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