gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
