Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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