I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
