I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
