Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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