Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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