mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
