dude i'm inner monologue high
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
