well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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