There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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