i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
