Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
