His apartment number was 69. I had to.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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