I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
