Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
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Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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