i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
