have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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