and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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