Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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